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Linkin Park Interview

After interviewing Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst, I have also decided to interview frontman Chester of similar music style band, Linkin Park.


Cobra: Welcome to the interview. I'm going to ask the questions that everyone wants the answers too. First question, why did you get in the music business?
Chester: Well you all know that me and the boys have all this... ANGST RAGE! We couldn't take it anymore! We know all the pre and early teens understood our rage! So we decided to get in the music business!
Cobra: So tell me, what has caused all this angst rage?
Chester: Well just look at us. We look like complete dorks! Even the special-ed kids made fun of us! Angst rage just built up!
Cobra: It sounds like you guys had it rough then.
Chester: We sure did! Just talking about it is making my... ANGST... RAGE... BOIL!
Cobra: So you guys decided to form a band to channel all of that angst rage and...
Chester: Yeah we formed the band...
Cobra: I wasn't finished yet jackass!
Chester: Oh sorry.
Cobra: So who taught you guys how to play?
Chester: No one. We taught ourselves.
Cobra: I'll believe that as awful as you sound. You sure as hell aren't no Van Halen.
Chester: This angst rage is CRAWLING!
Cobra: Oohhh, I'm so scared of Chester's ANGST RAGE RRWOAR!
Chester: That's not very nice.
Cobra: No shit, whatever gave you that idea! Idiot! Anyways, Hybrid Theory or whatever the hell that crappy album was named, came out and you became a hit.
Chester: Yeah, we knew all the 12 year olds would understand our feelings. They were our big inspiration.
Cobra: No shocker there. So your new album is also out but it hasn't quite reached the level of ANGST RAGE as the first. Why do you think that is?
Chester: Well some of our old preteen fans have grown up some. We need to do so more marketing to those under 12 now.
Cobra: I also heard you guys are coming out with a new single release not on the album.
Chester: Yeah it goes like this: SARS IN MY SKIN!!!
Cobra: Okay that's quite enough. Well that's all the time we have for this interview.
Chester: But I didn't get to the part about my ANGST RAGE of the mass majority of all females not liking me.
Cobra: Well boo hoo! I don't feel like wasting anymore of my life interviewing such a crybaby! Get the hell out of my sight you pathetic waste of life! Interview over!

2003, The Snake Pit